Still
by Goddess Belladri
Summary: We all picture Varcie as the nasty villaness with a burning hatred for Daine. But how do you suppose she really felt when she found Numair married? Maybe a little more heartbroken than filled with hatered? Oneshot Songfic.


Hey

**Edited Note:**_** Okay, so I finally found time to make the spelling correction to this fic. For future reference, I would just like to let you all know that I do read each and every one of the reviews I get, so I am aware of the issue. Please check to make sure the issue you find has not already been posted in a review. If it has, sending me a message about the issue only puts pressure on me and I can't always get around to making the changes right away.**_

**Original Message:**** Hey! This one, as stated in the summary, is all about Varice's feeling when she finds Numair married. Totally different from what I normally do, eh? I'm trying something different with the way I break up the song verses to fit in between the lines of the story too. If you don't know what I mean, compare this fic with one of my other songfics. **

**Disclaimer: The song "And Still" belongs to Reba McEntire and we all know who owns the characters in this fic.**

--

**Still**

Emperor Kaddar had asked her to go along on this assignment. There was something in Scanra that was needed but no one from there seemed at all interested in shipping it down to Carthak with everything in an uproar, so they had to go get it. She had no idea what it was, but she assumed that it was needed to try and solve the chaos that's erupted all over the country. Knowing Kaddar, she highly doubted that it was one of those machines that had been used in the war between Tortall and Scanra a few years past. He wasn't that kind of guy.

She was just passing through Tortall on her way to Scanra. Stopping in Corus, she planned to spend the night at an inn and then move on. There was somebody, or much like two some bodies, she'd rather not see while she was here. Passing by people going about their regular day, she slowly made her way to the nearest inn. She was almost to the front door when something caught her eye just a few feet away.

**Thousands of people live in this town  
And I had to run into him**

**When I saw him there on that busy street  
Those feelings came back again**

**There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide  
He walked up to me, looked in my eyes**

That_ something_ just so happened to be _someone_. He was tall, taller than most men, his long dark mane tied back in a horsetail. He had his back to her, but she knew who he was. Her former lover… Numair Salmalin.

She had to get away while she still had the chance to. She tried to act like he wasn't there, like he was a complete stranger. _That's right… you don't know him. Just go inside and get a room for the night. Tomorrow, you're going to get up early and will be on your way,_ she told herself.

**  
And still  
The world stood still  
I couldn't move  
And all I could feel  
Was this aching in my heart  
Saying I loved him still  
**

Unfortunately, he had noticed her. "Varice…"

She stiffened. Slowly turning, she gazed up at him. "Oh, hello, Numair…" She could've sworn her heart was going to leap out of her throat. She felt her old feelings for him welling up inside, but tried not to show them.

**  
He said how have you been  
It's great to see you again  
You're really a sight for sore eyes  
I said I can't complain  
Oh, I'm doing fine  
We talked as the people rushed by  
We laughed about old times and all we went thru  
That's when he hugged me and said I've missed you**

"It's been a while. How are things in Carthak?" He asked, oblivious to her trembling.

"The whole country's in an uproar. Emperor Kaddar apparently bought something in Scanra that'll supposedly make things a bit easier. It was supposed to be shipped to us, but they really didn't seem to want to leave the safety of their own country," She replied.

He nodded. "I see. How is Kaddar anyways?"

"To be honest, I think he's getting to the end of his wits. Anymore stress the country throws at him and he'll probably lose it."

Numair chuckled. "I can't say that I blame him. I suppose that even I'd probably snap under the stress of it all after a while."

"Yes, but you just might last a little longer than him," Varice replied, smiling.

"I may be the most powerful mage in Tortall, but I'm only human. I doubt I'd last much longer than him." He grinned.****

And still  
The world stood still  
I couldn't move  
And all I could feel  
Was this aching in my heart  
Saying I loved him still  


She'd have to argue with him. He was more than human to her. Just looking at him made her melt. She longed for the days when he was courting her, but she held her tongue. She had heard that he and Daine had gone to the divine realms and when they came back, were more than teacher and student. That was what was being said in Carthak, at least.

Stealing a glance at his hand, she slightly panicked inside. A simple gold band was around his ring finger. So the rumours were true. A thought struck her, just because he had a wedding ring didn't mean he was married to _her_ specifically; he could be married to someone else.

"Varice?" She looked up at him. "Did you hear a single word I just said?" He asked, a single dark eyebrow raised.

"Sorry, I must have spaced out," She replied.

"Numair?" Daine walked up to them.

**  
That's when she walked up to him  
He said this is my wife  
I gave my best smile  
But I was dying inside  
He said we've gotta go now  
It's getting late  
It was so good to see you  
Then they walked away**

Numair smiled down at the brunette, wrapping an arm around her. "Magelet, you remember Varice, don't you?"

Daine smiled. "Yes, how are you, Varice?"

"Oh, fine, thanks. So, Numair's still teaching you?" She asked, half wanting to know, half wishing she hadn't asked.

They shook their heads. "Daine and I got married a few midsummers ago."

"Oh." She replied, her heart sinking into the pit of her stomach. "Well, if you don't mind the lateness, congratulations."

They smiled at her. "Thanks."

"I'm sorry to cut this short but, Numair, we've been asked to go on a mission," Daine said to her husband.

"Oh, yes. It was good to see you again, Varice. Have a safe trip to Scanra." Varice nodded to him. "Tell Kaddar we said hello."

"And if you have time when you get back, please come and visit us," Daine added warmly.

"Yes, I'll be sure to." She watched the couple leave, shaking violently.****

And still  
The world stood still  
I couldn't move  
And all I could feel  
Was this aching in my heart  
Saying I loved him still

--

She didn't remember entering the inn, or booking a room for the night. She never remembered locking the door and changing into her nightgown. She couldn't even recall ever climbing into the bed.

The only thing she could remember was the pain that welled up inside and the memories of earlier that day when she ran into him. Warm tears ran down, leaving wet streaks across her face. Sobbing, she buried her face in the pillow and tried to sleep, knowing that the two of them would probably haunt her dreams the whole night through.

She had thought that she was over Numair. That she also no longer felt the electricity between the two of them. Turns out she was wrong. She still loved him and seeing him with Daine just tore her apart. The pain she felt was so great, she thought she may never love anyone else ever again.

It was well past moonset before she felt tired at all. Her eyes were still red-rimmed, but she had at least stopped crying. Burying her face in the pillow once more, she closed her eyes. _Numair…I love you…_ She thought as the Dream King finally came and swept her away to the world of sleep.

--

**Looking back at this fic, I've got to say that I don't feel like I've put my all into this. Maybe one day I take it down and fix it up. I highly doubt I'll ever make another fic like this again. But it was worth a shot.**

**Now, I'm debating on whether or not to go with the A/J songfic idea I've got. I'm pretty much an A/G fan, but this fic is supposed to come before Alanna and George. So… would that make it an exception?**

**I dunno. Send me feedback!**


End file.
